Puzzles are my JAM. I freaking love a good puzzle. I’ve done over 30 escape rooms, several murder mystery boxes, and the board game Clue is my favorite pastime with my 10-year-old. When I was younger, I used to play adventure puzzle video games like Myst and Riven, and later on Fable. I’m pretty sure I’m going to be a contestant on Survivor one day, too. Puzzles of all kinds absolutely fascinate me, and the process of working through them is exhilarating. The win I feel from successfully working through one? Not much compares to that feeling.
For some reason, I not looked at Life Problems like a puzzle. Getting raw for a moment, here are some of my problems I’ve been faced with lately: managing my health with PCOS and losing weight, financial challenges, growing a new business and figuring out how to help people, and social media outreach. Many of these problems had been weighing on me and causing frustration and a little bit of “Why me?” mentality. Not exactly the best outlook when growing in every aspect of your life.
This week, I was listening to Sage Lavine’s podcast Women Rocking Business Podcast and she was interviewing Kara Goldin, the badass entrepreneur and inventor of Hint water (you can check out their conversation HERE). Kara’s upbeat spirit and inquisitive outlook on entrepreneurship struck a chord within my heart. There’s one part when she talks about her journey while creating Hint and how she looked at the challenges of starting a brand new beverage company. One of the biggest ways she navigated this journey was to look at every problem as a puzzle to solve. The moment she said that phrase, electricity shot down my spine.
I asked myself, “What if I looked at every problem I have as a puzzle to be solved?”
One of the most amazing things about personal development is that no matter where you are in your health, wealth, or relationships, you can always learn how to show up more as your Highest Self. I’ve been actively summoning the best version of myself for the last year with consistency, and I still have much growing to do. To say that my mindset took a major upshift this week is an understatement.
Ever since the military, I tend to not use the word “problem” and instead use the word “challenge.” I would see “problem” as negative, and if you talked about your problems, you were a complainer and not a part of the solution. I preferred “challenge” because it felt a bit more like navigating an obstacle course rather than something that would be the ruin of me. Still, I haven’t been approaching these challenges in my life in the most productive and solution-driven manner.
Clearly, it was time for a Problem Mindset Shift. And just like that, the Universe drops just the right podcast episode in my lap to help me move forward with my growth.
Are Life's Problems Like an Escape Room Puzzle?
Any great puzzle-solver would agree: there is a process to how you approach the challenge.
Interestingly enough, no two Puzzle Masters approach the same puzzle in the same manner. They all develop their own methods and quirks and ways to move through the process.
My previous partner and I would do escape rooms every chance we got. We called ourselves “The Escapeologists” and completed several rooms together, both in person and tabletop. After our first few rooms together, it became clear that he approached puzzles much differently than I did. We also realized that there were certain puzzles he thrived at but really stumped me, and vice versa. After about 6 rooms or so, we got into a groove and we won more rooms than not, even setting records for some of them.
Here are some things I noticed about how we solved the rooms:
· We went into the room with an excited, anticipatory attitude
· We were confident in our skills and trusted in the skills of our partner
· We developed a system to work the rooms, even if the puzzles were vastly different from previous experiences
· When we had a puzzle we were stuck on, we asked for help from the Room Master
· Whether we won or lost, we would debrief the room with each other, figuring out what skills we needed to work on more and what we did well
· Win or lose, we enjoyed the heck out of the process, and it brought us closer together as partners
When my partner and I had started doing rooms, we had LOTS of growing and developing to do. Our observation skills were a little shotty, and the ticking clock would overwhelm us sometimes. As we did more rooms, however, we grew our Escape Room Skills.
With the reflections this week, I realized that every problem I have is JUST LIKE an escape room. I truly believe I have everything inside me to solve my problems… I may not know the how-to’s yet, but I trust myself enough to know that I can learn and I can grow. I have a proven track record that shows I can figure things out. I bet you do to, if you thought about it.
Here are Five Ways I know Kori Can Solve Problems:
· I successfully taught my daughter kindergarten while doing nursing school online during a global pandemic
· I figured out how to build a Lightbox in my website
· I have won several escape rooms, and failed several rooms. I learned from ALL of them.
· I figured out how to start an IV
· I learned how to drive a stick shift in a car with no power steering when I was 19 years old
Now it’s your turn. Write down a list of 5 reasons that PROVE you can solve problems. Need more evidence? Write a list of 10 reasons. Or 20. Keep going until you can look at the list and say, YEP, I can trust myself to solve problems and figure things out.
Problem Solving Hacks
Let’s dive in to some of these lessons I’ve learned about solving puzzles in escape rooms and apply them to real life problems. Think about how you’ve solved puzzles in the past, and how these hacks may help you shift your mind around the problems you are currently facing in your life.
Problem Solving Hack #1: The only way to get better at solving Puzzle Problems is by DOING THEM. REPEATEDLY.
Any puzzle solver knows that skill comes from doing the thing. You can learn all the theory you want about HOW to do a puzzle, but until you actually work one, you won’t really be proficient at it. Take a crossword puzzle, for example. The theory behind the puzzle is simple enough: each row or column has a corresponding clue for the word to be filled in the blanks. The word must fit in the blocks, one letter for each block.
Now, KNOWING how to work a crossword is very different than DOING it. That last part takes practice. In the beginning, you are going to mess up. A LOT. Better use a pencil lol. But as you do them more, you’ll start to see patterns and get familiar with the clues. Your brain starts to understand the nuances of each puzzle, and it starts to feel easier. Given the same difficulty level, the 10th crossword puzzle will come much easier than the 2nd crossword puzzle, and the 50th crossword puzzle will feel like a breeze.
This same concept can be applied to any Life Problem too. You can learn how to get healthier, read all the books and articles, and get all that knowledge inside your head. But until you start DOING the things you read about, you are not going to be proficient at the Health Thing. And you certainly aren’t going to improve your health until you try some stuff out. At first, it’s going to feel very hard and clunky. Just like with that crossword puzzle, you’re going to make lots of mistakes. Eventually, though, you’ll start to figure out how your body works. Given the same difficulty level, the 10th workout will come much easier than the 2nd workout, and the 50th workout will feel like a breeze.
Problem Solving Hack #2: Change your outlook on how you approach Puzzle Problems
Let’s pretend it’s a rainy afternoon and the power is out, and your phone is dead.
Wanting something to do, you pull out a dusty jigsaw puzzle and have a seat at your table. Now, maybe this isn’t how you wanted to spend your afternoon, but alas, here you are and as soon as the thought popped into your head to do a puzzle, you smiled. Yea! Let’s do a puzzle! You get excited about it as you find one you used to really enjoy as a kid. You dump out the pieces and start your puzzle-solving process.
The excitement carries you through the process, and suddenly you start to see the puzzle come together. One piece, then another, then another! You’re really cruising now! Maybe you get stumped a couple times, so you take a break then come back to it with fresh eyes. All along though, you knew you could solve this puzzle, even if it took you all day long to do. Finally, you put the last piece in place, and a wave of satisfaction washes over you. Even though the power had been back on for a couple hours, you were determined to finish this puzzle you started.
Now, what if you had a less-than-jovial attitude about the puzzle?
Let’s say someone poured a puzzle out in front of you, and you immediately grumbled and complained. You begrudgingly picked up the pieces, and pouted as you tossed them around. You maybe would try one or two pieces, but the frustration would get to you and you’d throw the pieces on the floor and storm off.
Maybe, puzzles have been hard for you. Or maybe you weren’t in the mood. Or maybe you don’t have confidence that you’ll be able to solve the puzzle. Whatever the issue is, how you approach doing a puzzle is going to affect everything. It will affect you, the puzzle will either get done or not, it may even affect the people around you.
How you approach life’s problems MATTERS. Your perspective on your ability to solve problems, your attitude towards the problem itself, it all determines the outcome. Of course, it’s important to have the skills, but if your attitude is in the toilet, your skills won’t mean jack shit. You could be a Chess Master, but if you believe you can’t solve the problem of the next chess match or are in a foul mood about having to do it… you will not win, or you might not even try the match at all.
The attitude is going to impact how you acquire the skills and resources you need to solve the problem. You may not know how you’re going to solve it, but if you believe that you can figure it out, then you are WAY MORE LIKELY to go take action to develop the skills necessary to create the solution. The reverse is also true. If you feel that you are incapable of solving the problem, and you feel negatively towards yourself and the issue at hand, then you are not going to have the Motivation (indeed, the Motive to Motion) you need to go learn or get help.
Let’s use that Getting Healthy example I used earlier. If you have a positive attitude towards working out or changing up your eating habits, you are going to feel more compelled to try out that new exercise routine or do food swaps. You may not know how you’re going to lose 40lbs, but you’re willing to try some things out and even get excited about the prospect of learning new skills to take care of your body. On the other hand, if you look at getting healthy as a complete drag and waste of time, or you lack the confidence that you’ll be able to lose the weight, you’ll never have the motivation to develop the skills it takes to actually accomplish your goal.
So, if you find that attitude and perspective are your biggest hurdles to taking steps toward solving problems, then start there. Ditch the TV and the scrolling, and go listen to some positive podcasts. Read books on changing attitudes, like “The Motivation Manifesto” by Brendon Burchard or “The Mountain is You” by Brianna Wiest. Immerse yourself in an environment of growth-minded people, like the GrowthDay community, or join the Cycle Tribe with me here on Awakening to Wellness.
Problem Hack #3: Get Advice from Experts, Collaboration from Peers, and Support from Loved Ones
Talk to ANYONE who has overcome challenges and solved any problems in business, relationships, or health, and they will tell you of all the people who helped them along the way. No one who accomplishes their goals can do it alone. Nature also tells us this truth. Trees cannot grow without soil, air, nutrients, water, and the sun. Animals cannot survive without their food source, be it other animals, insects, or grass. Life is interdependent, indeed, collaboration and interdependency are the core foundations for Life.
Somewhere along the way, we told ourselves the story that if we can’t do it by ourselves, then we are lazy, weak, and incapable. Yawn, I’m so over this story, aren’t you? All it does is create anxiety, toxic isolation, and a complete breakdown in the fabric of our Self Image when we ultimately fail from trying to do everything on our own. Community is where solutions are born, not separation.
Let’s say your car breaks down. Unless you are a mechanic, you are going to need some help to get this problem solved. You could try to fix it yourself, but that could end in disaster and cost you way more than it would have if you took it to a professional in the first place. Most people would agree that the smartest thing to solve this problem is to hand the car over to the expert and let them work their magic. But what about other life problems, like troubled relationships? Getting healthy? Building a business?
Somehow, in many of those instances, we think that we should be able to figure it out on our own. We spend countless hours trying to figure things out and doing ANYTHING but getting ahold of a freaking professional for help. When we do that, it’s basically like us getting under the hood of our car with a hammer and screwdriver trying to fix a transmission… oh wait, is that the engine? Can you see my point here?
To make matters worse, instead of going to a professional for assistance with our problems, we turn to the people in our immediate circle for advice. Again, this is like taking your broken down car to Uncle Tommy who’s well-intentioned but literally has no clue about cars. There’s a good chance that your friends and family are having the same kinds of problems you are. And unless your sister is a sex therapist, she’s probably not going to give you the best advice to help your relationship in the bedroom. You can always ask her about her experience for solidarity, but using her advice to influence your next course of action… that’s a risky move. It’s best to leave the love and support to friends, and seek advice from people who dedicate their lives to understanding the very problem you are trying to solve.
One last part on the social aspect of solving problems: Peer support. There is MAGIC that happens when you get around other people who have a similar problem and are actively working to solve that problem. This is why groups like Alcoholics Anonymous are so essential. The social aspect helps people stay on track, accountable for their actions, and gives them a built-in support system that understands the challenges of tackling your specific problem.
If you have the problem of 40lbs extra hanging out on your body, then you will be more likely to solve this problem if you are around others who are working on losing weight too. I’m not talking about a group of people who just sit and complain about how hard life is… I’m talking about getting around people who are DOING THE WORK. Who know how hard it is to lose weight AND ARE DOING IT ANYWAYS. The truth is, you might live in a place where other people around you don’t care about their health. If this is you, then finding a supportive community is a necessity to your success, an absolute MUST. In this age of technology, finding your tribe is only a few clicks away.
Wrap it Up
All right Friend, this shift was a big deal for me. Maybe it will be a big deal for you, too. That thing that’s keeping you up at night… there is a solution out there for you. It might not be easy, you might have to do some work to discover it. You are not going to be able to do it alone, nor should you have to. You are going to make some mistakes while learning and growing, and that is how it’s supposed to be. You are going to have to keep trying things out, keep doing the work, keep stepping towards the goal, the solution. You going to need to have a positive attitude towards yourself and belief that you can create the solution.
Ask yourself the same question I did earlier this week, “What if I approached THIS BIG PROBLEM as a puzzle to be solved?” How would it feel different, how would you go about working it? I believe your solution is out there, Sister. You’ve just gotta believe it too.
Much Love,
Kori Rae 💋
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